Denim Sunbeams

On The Outfit: I love denim on denim and it's still cool! I bought this shirt at Buffalo Exchange and it reminds me of an 80's mom at Disneyland (probably the best reason to ever buy an article of clothing.) I paired it with my true and trusted J Brand jeans. I am so in love with these jeans. They make everyone look good. I wanted to keep it simple and easy for a casual night of wine with friends on our patio.

On My Mind: When I met you, there weren't fireworks. Not because you aren't special but because we didn't have a chance. I wasn't blown away because I never had the opportunity sitting at a dive bar with the game blaring in my ear. Maybe not a fair start. In fact, I couldn't be bothered. I was wrapped up in someone else. When I decided to see you that first night, I thought, this is a good distraction. I was in pain. I was closed off. I was lost and had forgotten who I was. But as I opened you, you opened me. Slowly, the facade of everything else melted away. There was honesty. There was the truth of who we both were and where we both were. And now, we exist in a different place. A place of both fear and happiness. A place of both laughter and wonder. A place of both discovery and comfort. I'm really enjoying this place.

Shirt: Vintage Jeans: J. Brand

Washed Up Onto Shore

On The Outfit: A printed maxi dress with amazing slits really don't need many details. I like to add a really simple necklace. One of my favorites is this circular glass necklace with flakes of gold in it. It was given to me by my grandma when she came home from a trip from Alaska.


On My Mind: POETRY. Pablo Neruda

"Well, now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots
That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land"

Dress: Forever 21 

Dress: Forever 21 

All White & Something Poetic

On The Outfit: I love wearing all white especially when it's summer and especially when I have a tan. It just works so well together. I also am loving crop tops this summer and this full lace skirt works really well with it. I kept the outfit simple by pairing it with booties. 

On My Mind: If I knew what it would have been like when you left and when this ended, I would have ran the other way. I would have kissed you and remembered you as that very pretty boy with the perfect blue eyes and golden skin. Now, I remember your anger and your resentment for me. When all I ever did was care, you hated me for it. You were like an animal. Not something to be controlled or changed. Something to be loved and believed in but you wouldn't even allow that. Unfortunately, I will never just remember that you were prideful or terrible at telling people how you really felt but I will remember everything else too. I will remember the first time I bought lingerie specifically for you and how passionate it made you. I will remember when you were really drunk and told me my face was your sanctuary. I'll remember my obsession with the feeling of being weightless and it didn't take a motorcycle, or a skydive, or a surfboard to achieve it, it just took being around you. I will remember sleeping on a slant because your bed got ruined in the process of us being us. I never minded the slant or the dirty floors or when you never have bed sheets because you would hold me all night, kiss my forehead, and keep me safe with your arm's wrapped around me. I was with you and that was enough for me. I didn't really need anything more. 

Shoes: Dolce Vita Outfit: Forever 21 Bag: Chanel

Daytime Bodysuit & Misogyny

On The Outfit: Managing a bodysuit midday can be a bit tricky. You have to balance out the sexiness of something that is both skin tight and in this case, low cut. My way of managing it is to wear a longer, flowing skirt to keep it casual and prevent too much skin from showing. I also keep the hair and make-up pretty slick and simple. The shoes are a bit sparkly but the are a casual thong sandal, grounding the whole look to be casual and daytime appropriate. 

On My Mind: I've never been a woman who felt the need to stand up for woman's rights or to call myself a feminist even. I do believe in equal rights and treatment for all but I never felt the need to define myself as such. Here is why: It isn't my duty to cook a meal for my man but I enjoy it. I know woman who refuse to learn to cook so they won't be defined as a "woman who belongs in the kitchen". It isn't my duty to serve my man in all his needs but I enjoy it. It isn't my duty to make less then him or have a lower titled position but frankly, I don't give a shit if I do. I believe I am on my journey and he is on his. This is why I've never felt the need to fight to call myself a feminist. 

For the first time in my life, since I moved to California, I have dealt with so much misogyny. I know that the film industry has a bad rep for this kind of behavior BUT it hasn't been from the film industry. Surprisingly, it's been from restaurant employees, surf and skate bros. People in the film industry have been nothing but excited and happy when they hear that I am independent, educated, and self sufficient. But the men who I've found in Venice and the surrounding areas have been nothing but offensive and mean. They put their own insecurities on me and act as if my college degree or success in life is in anyway a reflection in life. I refuse to feel guilty for being the boss of my own life and working hard to actually achieve the things I want. I was expected to not only feel bad about my achievements but to pretend they didn't exist.   

I truly believe that we are all on our own journey in life and I also believe we can achieve anything we truly set our mind to. To receive such negativity to the point where one can question if it is hate really bothers me, especially when I only wish the best upon people. I'd love to hear more stories about people's experiences with this issue. Please share with me. I'm feeling a bit bummed by the fact this kind of behavior still exists. 

Top:  American Apparel Skirt: H&M Shoes: Handmade in Capri

Top:  American Apparel Skirt: H&M Shoes: Handmade in Capri

Ciao Bella For Bowling

On the Outfit: This is called casual to me but all my friends told me that I was dressed up. These are the times when I miss New York City. What else would I wear bowling? I mean, I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Either way, I love this look and I like to balance a crop top with something some kind of coverage. I wear this leather vest a fair amount because it is such a wearable and versatile piece.  Whenever I am suppose to go casual at night, booties are my go-to. They are comfortable and never over or under dressed.

On my mind: Hemingway use to describe writing as "sit at your typewriter and bleed." Well, I don't have a typewriter, I have a PC. I'll tell you what else I have. I have not much to bleed about other than the disappointments of being a romantic. We need to stop watching romantic comedies, listening to Taylor Swift songs, or reading poetry. This love doesn't exist anymore if it ever did. We killed our innocence, our openness, and our passion. Mostly, you killed it. I was here and you killed that. I cared and I wish you killed that. I wish that you had murdered the amount I care so I wouldn't hurt right now. But that's just how it goes. I believed in you, and I still do. I never won't. I see a side that other people don't get to. I see your softness, your sweetness, and a different kind of smile. I see your passions, your loves, your hobbies. I see you protectiveness and the way you talk about your family. I see how you miss them. I see how you keep even them at arm's length. I see you pain from them.

I wish you just said that I was only and that was all you needed but you couldn't make that commitment. I wish that every night could be like that night after we got into our first big fight. I remember how it felt to be in each other's arms and to feel your arms around me. I remember the passion that brewed up between us and the softness of your lips. I remember how you looked at me and how I could help but scratch at your skin. 

I'll remember the first time you didn't wear a T-shirt and how there was such a James Dean quality to the fact that you could look so sexy and so cool in just a T-Shirt. I'll remember a lot of things but right now, what hurts the most is that I remember our potential.  But unfortunately, it's Ciao Bella. 


Shirt: Forever21 Vest:BLKDENIM Shoes: Dolce Vita Jeans: J. Brand Jeans

Shirt: Forever21 Vest:BLKDENIM Shoes: Dolce Vita Jeans: J. Brand Jeans